So you see how I complain a lot about how Internet sucks in Ghana.....well in came Vodafone X to help me calm down just a bit. I've used every major network in Ghana and compared their bundles and Vodafone X's value for a poor man like me was unfortunately the best.
On a good day, I buy 10GHc for 1.2 GB data for a month plus unlimited Twitter, Facebook, and WhatsApp. On a bad day, it's 5GHC for 500MB of data for a month plus unlimited Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp.
Compare to every other major network in Ghana, these figures are far, far better than their existing consumer bundles in value and cost.
Compare to every other major network in Ghana, these figures are far, far better than their existing consumer bundles in value and cost.
In my insatiable thirst for more data and more bandwidth, I came across MTN's unlimited bundles, where you pay 150GHC a month for unlimited cheese-balls but then find out that they are surreptitious cheats
because, after using 5 GB they throttle your speed down to a miserable snail with polio.
Then I came across another offer for unlimited data which amazed me initially, GHC 3 for unlimited data from 12-5am! I think to myself, "surely these idiots must be crazy!" only to find out in the terms and conditions that after 3GB usage they throttle down your speed to trying to grow sugarcane in the Sahara......using that miserable snail with polio as your pollination agent.
Eventually, disappointed in all my endeavors and still a broke ass nigga, I decided to go back to good old VodafoneX and survive accordingly like all these broke niggas in these streets then in my transition, I came across MTN's so-called Social Bundle and I'm like wow!
Basically, on the website, it says Twitter, Facebook, and WhatsApp &400MB per month. Now you're probably like..." okay so what?" but as a desperate person, it seemed pretty good to me because unlike Vodafone X which says 5GHC for 500MB for a week.
These guys were seemingly offering the same thing but 100MB less for a Month! This meant that basically if my data finishes kraa, I will still have Facebook, WhatsApp, and Twitter free for a month! Instead of a week on Vodafone X for the same price.
So Alomo spends the whole night contemplating the pros and cons of this whole thing, wakes up this morning, and sets out on his journey to buy 5 cedis MTN credit with his last money. All the vendors around have gone to Asore (church), so he comes back home, but needs the Internet and so Rasbobo brokeman sets out on a longer journey in search of credit. After quite a distance, he finds a small kiosk with some guy selling electrical parts. He asks if they sell credit and he's in luck. More vim!
He tells the guy he wants MTN 5 Cedis, then the guy says now it's 5 Cedis 20 pesewas. Eii! Alomo chock pose. "3di3n 20pesewas?!"Alomo asks the guy.
because, after using 5 GB they throttle your speed down to a miserable snail with polio.
Then I came across another offer for unlimited data which amazed me initially, GHC 3 for unlimited data from 12-5am! I think to myself, "surely these idiots must be crazy!" only to find out in the terms and conditions that after 3GB usage they throttle down your speed to trying to grow sugarcane in the Sahara......using that miserable snail with polio as your pollination agent.
Eventually, disappointed in all my endeavors and still a broke ass nigga, I decided to go back to good old VodafoneX and survive accordingly like all these broke niggas in these streets then in my transition, I came across MTN's so-called Social Bundle and I'm like wow!
Basically, on the website, it says Twitter, Facebook, and WhatsApp &400MB per month. Now you're probably like..." okay so what?" but as a desperate person, it seemed pretty good to me because unlike Vodafone X which says 5GHC for 500MB for a week.
These guys were seemingly offering the same thing but 100MB less for a Month! This meant that basically if my data finishes kraa, I will still have Facebook, WhatsApp, and Twitter free for a month! Instead of a week on Vodafone X for the same price.
So Alomo spends the whole night contemplating the pros and cons of this whole thing, wakes up this morning, and sets out on his journey to buy 5 cedis MTN credit with his last money. All the vendors around have gone to Asore (church), so he comes back home, but needs the Internet and so Rasbobo brokeman sets out on a longer journey in search of credit. After quite a distance, he finds a small kiosk with some guy selling electrical parts. He asks if they sell credit and he's in luck. More vim!
He tells the guy he wants MTN 5 Cedis, then the guy says now it's 5 Cedis 20 pesewas. Eii! Alomo chock pose. "3di3n 20pesewas?!"Alomo asks the guy.
He explains to the vendor that "MTN people" said on the news that people shouldn't sell credit at that price and that 5cedis is 5Cedis. The vendor being kind explains back to him that it's not his fault and that normally. MTN sells it to them at 4.75 pesewas and they sell it at 5 cedis so they can make 30 pesewas profit per sale.
Apparently, MTN sells it to the retail main supplier for less even but they also take their cream before selling it to the local vendors. Now those main suppliers are selling it for 4.85pesewas because MTN has increased their price ( like I said they are thieflets), so the vendors will now only make 15 pesewas profit per sale which is very m)b), basically cutting their earnings by half and that was why many of them were selling at 5 Cedis 20pesewas.
It was a very sad presentation.
Apparently, MTN sells it to the retail main supplier for less even but they also take their cream before selling it to the local vendors. Now those main suppliers are selling it for 4.85pesewas because MTN has increased their price ( like I said they are thieflets), so the vendors will now only make 15 pesewas profit per sale which is very m)b), basically cutting their earnings by half and that was why many of them were selling at 5 Cedis 20pesewas.
It was a very sad presentation.
Wujafo's heart was doing logiligi things so, I told the guy, "oh I understand your frustration but jack I cannot walk all the way back home from that journey to go and take 20 pesewas", so the man acquiesced to my plea and gave it to me for GHC 5. I then asked him if he had Vodafone GHC 2 but he said he had GHC 1 p3 so, I took it laidat.
Killer was happy!
His journey had paid off. He walked home with a big grin on his face, thinking about all the notifications he would receive and things he could finally do.
After the long walk nigga got home, drank some chilled water and went inside his humble abode
I unlocked my phone and inserted the MTN chip inside, powered it up, loaded the credit, and dialed *138*1*5#
Then nigga was about to activate den he chock pose
Killer was happy!
His journey had paid off. He walked home with a big grin on his face, thinking about all the notifications he would receive and things he could finally do.
After the long walk nigga got home, drank some chilled water and went inside his humble abode
I unlocked my phone and inserted the MTN chip inside, powered it up, loaded the credit, and dialed *138*1*5#
Then nigga was about to activate den he chock pose
Killer read the thing, he no dey believe. He go wash een face come back
Took some deep breaths.
Read the thing again. Killer conf kraa
Took some deep breaths.
Read the thing again. Killer conf kraa
The 400MB of data is ONLY for WhatsApp Twitter and Facebook
Killer don vex now
Kyere S3 "ONLY" paaaaa
Ahhhh these ostriches had deceived me
Killer don vex now
Kyere S3 "ONLY" paaaaa
Ahhhh these ostriches had deceived me
Man make sad......den he Kai say he bought 1 Cedi of Vodafone credit. Hopefully, he could use that to check notifications.
Nigga make optimistic
He load the credit sharp! Like it be een profession "Oh"....der knorrr, dem flow Amm say, "thank you for paying back your Vodafone SOS credit.
Nigga make optimistic
He load the credit sharp! Like it be een profession "Oh"....der knorrr, dem flow Amm say, "thank you for paying back your Vodafone SOS credit.
Your credit is now 0.00 Ghana Cedis. 0 MB of data valid until fuck you and your memory."
Wujafo just fainted.
(kind courtesy of my best friend, Kwadwo)
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